As the pandemic lingers on, I’ve had the growing sense of being suspended in an indeterminate state. My adult life has been determined first by the needs of my growing family; then, as the children became independent, my time was carefully slotted in on my calendar. Until my husbands’ deaths, my activities were balanced with time for them. Both of those dear men urged me to include time to just be rather than always do. That was difficult for me who enjoyed so many possibilities!
With the appearance of COVID-19 and the request to stay at home and maintain social distance, everything came to a screeching halt.
At first, the new order of life felt like a welcome breather, as I had felt mounting apprehension that I may be pushing the limits of my strength and energy in the past year. I’ve kept busy writing, calling others who are isolated, and finding ways to stay in touch with my families. I’ve been involved in a few of the services our church records for distribution to our members. But living alone, without human touch, still leaves an empty feeling. For this “huggy” person, social distancing creates a large void.
I’ve often heard the saying “Use it or lose it.” Most often, the speaker refers to exercise—but having passed the 80 mark on my last birthday, I wonder if I will have lost the ability to contribute to the many needs in my community when we are at liberty once more. I may have to adapt to a new reality.